Article for Women Issues

Last night
I received a phone call from a lady friend. It was the eve of her 50th birthday
and even though she is much better adjusted than most
it was still a big deal for her.

I would make the reminder for gentlemen that there is an inherent and powerfully structural biological difference for ladies of this age
as they experience an inline incarnational death around this age - the childbearing person they were since their early teens comes to an end
and a structurally DIFFERENT person comes into being.

So this is NOT about vanity or prettiness; it is a lot more than that on every level and it was little wonder that my friend felt unsure. What she did NOT want to happen is to go into this first night of the 50th year of her life full of regrets
worries
sorrows and loss of life; she wanted something better than that for herself
a celebration to help with this threshold moment
delineated by the way we measure time and count the days.

We could have easily chatted away the last remaining hour and a half before the clock struck 12 midnight and try and ignore this thing; but I didn't feel that this was appropriate as it is a highly personal transition so we began to discuss a suitable transitional ritual.

Rather than now performing some kind of "death rite" where one gets involved with all the ne'ermores across one's entire life
such as
I will never hold a baby of my own in my arms again...
and "I'll never dance to the Rolling Stones live at the Catacomb in a miniskirt again..." I suggested we focus instead just on the year that had just passed
year 49.

What had happened during that year?

Well quite a lot
actually. My friend got to live in house by the beach she always wanted. She had written and published her first book. She had written her first hymn
had her first public exhibition of her paintings and had swam with dolphins.

How amazing!

And how much more amazing still to consider that if we were to travel back in time by just two years
to her 48th birthday
and we discussed what might be to come
and I might have suggested just one of these things
she would have NEVER believed it possible and laughed at me.

So what might year 50 possibly hold in the way of new surprises and unfoldments?!

We cannot know.

But one thing we can know is that it is a year of new life
of new experiences
of new challenges
triumphs and moments of glory.

And it deserves to be stepped into proudly
and gladly
and in full acceptance of what will be to come.

It was decided to ring in the moment with a beautiful bath
by candlelight and a glass of champagne.

To spend the time before 12 midnight to give gratitude for what had been
and to spend a time of meditation after firmly turned to the future
to have the space to ask for things that might have waited for many years to be finally fulfilled and experienced; to have the space to ask for surprises and to declare one's readiness to step
very literally fresh
clean and brightly new
into the new year of life here in this fantastic world.

This is what my friend then did
by herself
for herself and it was delightful
magical and entirely special an occasion
without regrets and instead
with a powerful lifting and affirmation of life
and love of life.

She slept very well
and when in the morning a box was delivered from which a helium balloon burst with massive numbers 50 written on it
which further showered her carpet with small sparkling pieces of foil
all with "50" imprinted on it
she laughed in delight and said
This is going to be marvellous year...


Happy Birthday
Nicola!